Can’t tell a metaphor from a threat

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So she claims that she has sent my threat to her lawyer. Whoopdedo.

I said: “I intend to shove her arse up so high that she shits through her nose.”

I fully intend to.

Bad writing and bad attitude call for it.

She says that she delivered me a smackdown without reading my work. She says she does not need to.

No comparison is true without the comparison being made. A comparison cannot be made by allegations alone.

Are you afraid to look at what I write, Kristy?

Oh, and I never forget my commas; no matter how tired I am. They are second nature to me, because i actually learned how to do it in school. What did you major in? Underwater basket weaving? Just because you act like a goat-roper, I should not call you one?

Not knowing the rules is no excuse. You can’t be a good storyteller without knowing the rules. Pick up a copy of Strunk and White. Use it. It is a slender volume.

Stop using your whiny excuses about having a hard life. We have all had hard lives.