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I want to chop his dick off with a pair of garden shears. And that’s exactly what I said to Nicky when he went after Sovay five years ago.
Nicky is upset. He is sounding stupider than ever, but it does allow me to make some guesses based upon his use of terms.
That’s the last thing you want to do son. That douche is beyond pissed you sent a doctored picture of an asshole pointing a gun to my head. You’re pissed off because I decided to screen shot the blog entry, and for the record I didn’t give out that phone number you douche’s posted up there. You mess with my entire family son I will take that trip to Finland just to knock you into the Artic Ocean. That’s a clear threat to my family pal. What you going to do fly the States to yourself just to make my life a living hell? You know nothing about Americans.
First off, Nicky, Foghorn Leghorn imitations are not going to get you anywhere. You’re just not at all convincing.
Secondly, you can’t afford and never will be able to afford to go to Finland so long as you’re sucking the government tit.
Thirdly, you misspelled Arctic Ocean.
Fourthly, Finland is not touched on by the Arctic Ocean. There’s the Barents Sea and the Gulf of Bothnia, but no Arctic Ocean.
He’s got a new entry on Blogspot complaining about dial-up, but it’s far from a cross-post of his WordPress entry.
The failure of dial-up internet is the slow uploads; I am getting Verizon in the house well when I get it I can take the connection with me when I get it fired up. There are six USB ports on my computer, and I will be getting two more multi-ports which were carried over from my old computers.
Here’s a post from Rusty Nail! We’re not going to let Nicky’s antics slow her down.
Nicky’s got another new entry on his WordPress.
I am signed for a two year contract with Verizon Wireless and the only thing I have with them is the internet.
Guest Statement from Rusty Nail:
Nicky reported me to WP for an entry that contained screenshots. WP alerted me to this, and frankly, they’re not sure whether it’s a TOS violation. Copyrighting screenshots? They’ve never before heard of such a thing. In the meantime, I have two new blog entries pending review by the WP folks.
Although I’ve heard back from the guy, confirming who it was who reported me, as if there were ever any doubt, the issue remains unresolved, and I cannot post to my blog, other than to queue things for content review by the powers that be at WP. All I can do is comment on previous entries, until this gets resolved, and my posting privileges are restored.
No doubt, the Nickster will crow about his victory, but I can assure everyone that it will very short-lived, and I shall prevail.
Infamous wannabe writer Lawrence Dagstine was recently photographed leaving a Midtown gay bar with two drag queens. When questioned by papparazi, Mr. Dagstine stumbled on the high heels he was wearing and fell on his face, screaming, “Don’t tell my girlfriend! They’re her clothes!”
Major dust storm drops bomb on Raingods’ doorstep. According to people on the scene, there must have been an odd contagion in that dust storm. Raingods was seen trying to hold off a saber toothed feline while pleading, “Please, Odetta, you can’t eat the neighbors.”
Transhuman author, Mike Brendan, returned from vacation in the mountains in response to a desperate call for help from the Freylinghuysen Botantical Gardens. Killer Tomatoes attack following a visit from mad garden pronographer Rusty Nail. Were-Jackula swears vengeance against Rusty Nail for the murder of his tulips.
Experimental Bondage Sleepsack stolen from Chicago laboratory. Nickolaus Pacione, notorious sleepsack thief, seen in the area. Caution is advised in approaching both the sleepsack and Pacione. The former is known to have eaten several guards. The latter has a dangerous stench attack. Haz-mat suits will be required to secure both creatures.
Author Tim Willard reportly kidnapped by Naughty Sorceress, Sabledrake. The Naughty Sorceress is reputed to have a secret castle in the Transylvanian Mountains, guarded by scantily clad nymphs. International incident in the offing as the 50 Foot AntWife prepares to invade Eastern Europe to get her man back.
Jane Timm Baxter takes Nickolaus Pacione to court. Notorious wannabe transgressive author, Pacione, found hanging from a pole tangled in a tennis net.
You’ll notice on the tabs that there is an “About the Legion” page atop my blog. It has been there ever since my last visit from Philbin. I guess he must have gotten unhappy with the fact that I’ve been leaving his name off my tags lately, because he just left two comments on it. The usual shit.
Here, Mikakke, I have put a tag on my blog post with your name on it. Happy?
Edited to Add: and little stinky snookums made a blog entry about me and linked it. Screenshot in case he takes it down per his usual bukakke
Edited to add again: Pacione says we should stop terrorizing Philbin
Youthful genius, Kody Boye, was recently rescued from a spooky mansion in Vermont owned by well-known dark fantasy author, Janrae Frank. Kody spoke to police on the scene, saying, “She’s batshit crazy, I tell you! Batshit! The place is full of bats and some of them are vampires! I swear it!”
Literary recluse, Phil Smith, recently increased the defenses on his not so secret castle in the Scottish Highlands, and received a shipment of bat quano from batshit crazy author, Janrae Frank. When questioned about this, Mr. Smith told reporters, “It’s just the nitrates I’m interested in, really.”
When asked what he intended to do with the nitrates, he replied, “Now that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”
Renegade wannabe Mike Philbin was recently arrested for breaking into the London Zoo and having sex with a chimpanzee. His reply to reporters was, “I thought it was a dinosaur.”
Jesus Visits Morris, IL. The Son of God was recently seen in Morris, Illinois, where he assaulted wannabe rebel writer, Nickolaus Pacione, with a copy of Tabloid Purposes, yelling, “Get thee hence, Satan.”
Savage Steve Revealed to Be a Shih Tzu. Photographed by investigative journalist, Tomo Joe, it has now been revealed that Savage Steve is actually a mutant dog with a computer fetish.
Secret Zippers found on Jerrod Balzer’s Sasquatch Suit. When questioned by Michele Lee, the noted author replied, “When you gotta pee, you just gotta pee.”
Lawyer Scalds Brooklyn Client. Wannabe author, Lawrence Dagstine, has filed suit in New York courts against his lawyer, Epub Bogus McCoy, for dumping boiling hot soup on his head. Mr. McCoy replied to questioning, “He deserved it.”
Bob Freeman Caught by Poltergeist. Would be rescuers are still stumped as to how to get Cairnwood author off the ceiling where he is reported to be imprisoned by an irate poltergeist.
Rich Ristow Lost at Sea. Noted author and poetry expert is reported to be lost at sea after being kidnapped by horny mermaids.
Once upon a time there was a wannabe author named Nicodemus PassieAnnie who wrote fan fiction, but he bastardized the stories and characters of an author he worshipped named Jane Rae Brite. Jane Rae was not happy about this, so she asked him to stop bastardizing her characters.
She sent him a cease and desist order, but he lined the cages of his parakeets with it and claimed it was not valid. Civil suits are expensive, and Jane Rae made the usual amounts of money, which was to say not enough to sue his pants off without having to give up her favorite chocolates.
Finally, she discovered a low cost group of animalistic mercenaries known as the Unholy Squirrels of Doom. The USofD agreed to take the job on for peanuts and acorns. So the author struck a deal with them to rid her of the nasty wannabe Nicodemus PassieAnnie.
Then the hundred legions of the dreaded Sqrls rowed their long boats up the Chicago River and encountered a lake fossil. Lake Fossils are delicious with a little garlic and lemon, so they killed the Lake Fossil and ate it with a liberal helping of vampire spiders toasted over an open fire.
They had to go overland to reach Morris, Illinois where the dastardly wannabee PassieAnnie lived. In the course of their travels, they collected all the books by PassieAnnie that contained the libelous material that had so angered their employer and burned all the copies they could find of Tabloid Purposes and Ethereal Gazette while toasting more vampire spiders and roasting the rest of the steaks they had sliced off the Lake Fossil.
After many adventures on the road, including taking in a concert that was hosted by DJ Pathogen, the Unholy Squirrels of Doom arrived in Morris.
Rumor of their coming had been so frightening that the PassieAnnie homestead appeared to have been abandoned when they arrived. The doors and windows had been boarded over. They found a note in the door that read simply:
“He’s in the basement.” It was signed “Grandma Shirley.”
The Squirrels unlimbered their gigantic battle axes, pushed their horned helmets back, and started whacking at the door. Being a cheap modern door, the flimsy wood gave way within a few solid whacks.
They burst inside and the place smelled of stale beer and farts. It was nasty, but the Squirrels of Doom were very determined.
Down in the basement they followed the stench of unwashed human and found a bed. Upon the bed was a fellow they knew must be PassieAnnie, but he was strapped into a bondage sleepsack, with his face partially covered and a gag in his mouth. They took a piss on him, but it could not get past the latex sack.
They soon had him covered with a huge number of wooden faggots, tossed beer and gasoline atop him and lit them. Although he squirmed and tried to get loose, PassieAnnie could not escape from the incredible bondage sleepsack.
Then they danced around the flames and sang victory songs about how gay they were. Afterward, they partied in the backyard and told stories about their brave deed in destroying the evil PassieAnnie. When the festivities ended, they collected their acorns and peanuts and went home to Fitchburg, Massachusetts, where they lived happily ever after.
The End.
With a hat tip to Rusty Nail
Secret military files have recently been unearthed! The movie Them has been proven prophetic. A biohazard near Los Angeles has spawned a 50 Foot Ant that is leaving a swath of destruction in its wake. It appears to be headed for Chicago. Residents are fleeing the city.
Sabledrake Loses Fur! Rumor has it that the black dragon known as Sabledrake is going bald. Doctors and Scientists are baffled as the great one becomes a nudist.
REVOLT OF THE MINIONS! Reporters on the scene watch from behind the barricades as maddened minions storm Castle Koehler. Literary vampire quoted as saying that if they keep getting out of hand she will put the bite on them.
Lake Fossil has become an endangered species as Armored Goldfish Invade Chicago River. Conservationists are appalled and demanding military intervention to save the Lake Fossil.
It had recently been reported that SirOtter was seen Leaving a Werewolf Bar. The paparazzi had a field day with candid shots of drunken author with his arms around two furry females in thongs.
Jodi Lee made headlines today when she hooked the Creature from the Black Lagoon while fishing in her neighbor’s swimming pool.
Noted expatriate British author Willie Meikle shaved beard, revealing that he is actually Oscar Wilde.
A tragic misfire occurred in Finland when Autoaim shot the balls off one of the last of the endangered species known as Homo Suidae. Pacione still attempting to sew them back on with pink thread. When interviewed by reporters, Autoaim shook his head and replied, “That wasn’t the part I was aiming for.”
ExposeTheTard Exposed! Noted blogger ExposetheTard was recently discovered to be a frustrated Tallulah Bankhead look alike and small time stripper who calls herself Ninochka. “I’ll strip anyone down to their bare nuts … except Nicky. He doesn’t have any.”
Giant Lobster Hovers Over Oxford! Mike Philbin has been coated in cum from a Giant Lobster that emerged from the Thames looking for Bukkakeworld.
Nicky has a new video up at youtube. Rusty has a link to it
In big red crayon, Nicky wrote “Janrae Frank. Dear Fantasy Author Cripple.” It is clear that the paper is printer paper and will not flush properly. If he does manage to make it go down the toilet, he’ll likely stop the thing up.
After all the years of him reciting the disablity rant, he pisses on that piece of paper, making it clear that my disability is part of the insult.
Hypocrisy R Nikita.
I never intended it to be a snark blog. I wanted a place to talk about my personal experiences, explore my disability, and talk about writing.
I don’t like the writing of Philbin, Dagstine, and Pacione.
It’s as simple as that.
However, the tendency on the net is for talentless hacks to spend as much time trying to destroy their critics as they do writing.
If critics fail in their duty to point out what is wrong with the bilge produced by some authors, especially authors who have more ego than talent, then how will the next generation of writers know who not to emulate?
Reviewers are gate keepers.
We are human, we are subjective, but in many cases, we are painfully accurate. Especially when it comes to the concept, treatment, language (and that includes grammar and punctuation), and characterization.
The aspects of writing are many fold.
For instance, I do not like the writing of John Saul. It’s a stylistic matter. His work seems dry and unappealing to me. Yet, his sentences work and his characterization cannot be faulted. His plots hold together. He does his research.
My dislike of his work is subjective.
It is a matter of personal preference.
I am not fond of Dean Koontz either.
Taste is a private matter, defined by individuality.
However, there are cases in which a book’s flaws are more than subjective taste.
I am not one of those readers who feel that story and concept trump style and craftsmanship. I have an opinion.
I do not believe that poor research, bad grammar, poor characterization, and disgusting metaphors are secondary to the originality of concept. The most imaginative and creative people on the entire planet are children.
Children have a far greater degree of originality than adults do. The reason for this is that they have not yet learned the difference between the possible and the impossible. Their flights of fancy soar and ride the winds of their imagination unimpeded by the walls that adults eventually form around themselves.
I encountered Nickolaus Pacione in 2003.
I encountered Dagsitine in 2007, but have since discovered that he had been stalking me for several years before he decided to bring himself forceably to my attention with the Nicky Interview.
I first crossed swords with Philbin in 2004.
So far as I am concerned, they are the Axis of Evil — Nitwit style.
Back when Brian Keene had his first messageboard, Philbin used to get in my face there and on Shocklines. Brian shut Philbin out.
Nitwits are like trolls, except that it’s their ego that regenerates with suprising speed and not their flesh.
(And yes, Mr. Tweaker, that’s my OPINION)
So my disgust with their antics and their periodic attacks upon myself and others who I know and respect led to this becoming a snark blog.
Nick is using verizon and his number is close enough to mine that I would be banning myself if I did an IP ban. I tried to blocking him other ways, but I don’t understand the system well enough. So he simply came back using a different account.
He posted again on my entry, “Suing Critics” and got past my attempt to stop him by using his alternate address. I have to figure out how to stop him.
I will let the nitiwts continue to visit me. I was very tired when I tried to block Nicky
60 Nickolaus Pacione
No Janice, you shut the hell up. You and your fucking “friends’ had harassed magazines for way too long, I want to know which one of your friends leaked Blood Contender to you. Was it Kaolin? I knew he was a faggot for doing that.
Not too stupid to live, just that I think homosexuality of any kind is an abomination. I know that you and RainGods both worship Matt Shepard. The fag didn’t die on the cross for you. Come clean about the libelous reviews you did of An Eye In Shadows and how the hell did you and your fan fiction writing friend Koehler came about obtaining a copy of the book.
That article linked is everything that you and your friends on the Other Dark Place feeling everything they said repeatedly biting them in the ass. You 4chan bastards have nothing better to do than to doctor up pictures of me when I am holding my chapbook, anthologies and the other projects just because you don’t want people reaing them. Hawkes put your cards on the table and admit how you got a copy or that book? Who the fuck sent it to you, was it a bastard who goes by raimer@gmail.com because one of the copies was a rushed versoin.
I am also noting that Mike really has no clout to really say anything nor does tha flaming faggot from Arizona because they lack the publishing history to back up what they say. Threatening to put a nail in the wall of every magazine out there — what the fuck windbag? I guess you little bastards are emplying lulu.com to get your books out there too. A little hard boiled hack and fake Christian going around trying to harass past publishers — thinking what was his biggest mission in life, to be the biggest prick in the country. You get the fuck out of this country and move somewhere more faggot friendly.
Nicky paid me a visit on the Suing Critics thread and left me bunch of comments. I am not even allowed to get a decent night’s sleep and here they nitwits come again. I have a feeling that Dagstine send him over to play with me.
Just in case my comment fails to make it out of moderation, I’m posting both Nicky’s comment and my own here.
# Nickolaus Pacione August 17, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Man this is one hell of a post. I can actually put a few links to a couple blogs that carry these traits, The Rusty Nail, ExposeTheTard, this individual, Encyclopedia Dramatica and SomethingAwful.com.
I was referred to you by an author who was on my roster. You got some gall and this entry is well researched. I want to see you go ahead and pick apart Encyclopedia Dramatica because that is a site filled with yellow journalism. I blog in various bursts because there are times I don’t have entries in my blog, and I am usually working on a novella or a couple short stories.
I send out here and there, then what you see with the industry is they have this blog gangland mentality. I am in touch with a lot of my real life friends from high school and college, then I have the ones I met via myspace and at book signings.
I got this one pissblogger (this is what I call a yellow journalist type with a blog,) going around urinating on every project I worked on. What about the bloggers who are exactly who they are in real life as they are online?
They are pissed off in person, and not afraid to say exactly what they want to say no matter how offensive it is. I’ve seen a high rate of book, music and movie piracy among bloggers too. They think it’s no big deal.
# 10 cussedness August 17, 2008 at 7:32 pm
While this is certainly a very good addressing of the issues related to obsessive blogging, it fails to take into consideration several other groups who might appear to be blogging obsessively, but in reality are not.
Blogs and message boards often become the only social vehicles accessible to the physically disabled and housebound who would otherwise not have a social life at all.
I suffer from Post Polio Syndrome and, on a bad day, I can barely manage to get across my living room.
And then there is the current aspect among small press authors to use the internet as a vehicle for publicity.
I do not believe that either of those groups should be counted within the categories that you mention, even if, at first glance they might appear to be ripe for inclusion.
_____________________
It is ironic to see Nicky, who stalked me and my daughter for so long before I finally started to fight back, claiming to be the innocent victim of the backlash he caused himself.
Doubtless, Dagstine’s post at Shocklines is what set him off. He and Philbin are back to their old habits. Philbin provided the impetus and Dagstine provided the link.
