Cussedness Corner

"My work may be garbage but it's good garbage." Mickey Spillane

And then Murphy knocked on the door….


You know that Murphy is knocking on your door when nothing wants to go right. I just had three weeks of Murphy visitations.

First I had a really bad cold that held on for just over two weeks. My friend has let me re-post their recent experiences with a similar cold:

feel ‘orrible. My nose is so blocked up I’m sure it must be inflated. My chest is wheezing, and I keep coughing. Sometimes a little ech!, but often a hacking cough that is me trying to expell the bile. I tried to have a hot bath, and I mean really steaming, but the water went cold halfway through. ARraghh! I hate these head colds that leave you feeling as if someone has packed icky cotton wool into your head. Every movement you make leaves you feeling as if you’re stepping from one dimension to the next. Light hurts, noise stings, breathing is a pain and my appetite – ah well, that’s good. I’m having those doughnuts tonight and nothing will stop me! Seriously though, why is it in this day and age that this common illness isn’t a fading memory? Where are the drugs to cure me, or why aren’t my antibodies fighting back? What really gets me though is why is it always the weekend when this stuff kicks in? Blargheegh!

— The Git

And then the first day that I felt well, a software issue crashed my computer. I could not get it to load. Typical curmudgeon, I just kept restarting until I annoyed the computer into running chkdsk. Errors were found and fixed, but once I got it successfully booted, it ran about as fast as molasses in midwinter. So I ran my virus software. It ran so slow that I dozed off in my chair waiting for it to finish.

The day after that I went to Walmart to get my meds filled. I used a debit card. Unfortunately, although I hit the button with the stylus that said “no cash back” the machine thought I said “give me oodles of money.” So much that it would promptly overdraw my account. I only realized this when the cashier tried to give me the money. When I protested, she told me that the purchase could not be cancelled and that I had to take the money and leave. and I then rushed home for a deposit slip and then back to the bank to get the money in before the debit could clear and land me with an overdraft fee.

We were very relieved when that was done. However, Murphy was not done with me yet.

On the way home, I flicked an ash out the car window and it promptly blew back and burned me on the finger.

DAMN YOU MURPHY! THUS I REFUTE MURPHY! NOT EVEN THE LEGENDARY MURPHY CAN STOP AN OLD CUSS FROM CUSSING.

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Janrae Frank

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