Cussedness Corner

"My work may be garbage but it's good garbage." Mickey Spillane

Tabloid Headlines!


With a hat tip to Rusty Nail

Secret military files have recently been unearthed! The movie Them has been proven prophetic. A biohazard near Los Angeles has spawned a 50 Foot Ant that is leaving a swath of destruction in its wake. It appears to be headed for Chicago. Residents are fleeing the city.

Sabledrake Loses Fur! Rumor has it that the black dragon known as Sabledrake is going bald. Doctors and Scientists are baffled as the great one becomes a nudist.

REVOLT OF THE MINIONS! Reporters on the scene watch from behind the barricades as maddened minions storm Castle Koehler. Literary vampire quoted as saying that if they keep getting out of hand she will put the bite on them.

Lake Fossil has become an endangered species as Armored Goldfish Invade Chicago River. Conservationists are appalled and demanding military intervention to save the Lake Fossil.

It had recently been reported that SirOtter was seen Leaving a Werewolf Bar. The paparazzi had a field day with candid shots of drunken author with his arms around two furry females in thongs.

Jodi Lee made headlines today when she hooked the Creature from the Black Lagoon while fishing in her neighbor’s swimming pool.

Noted expatriate British author Willie Meikle shaved beard, revealing that he is actually Oscar Wilde.

A tragic misfire occurred in Finland when Autoaim shot the balls off one of the last of the endangered species known as Homo Suidae. Pacione still attempting to sew them back on with pink thread. When interviewed by reporters, Autoaim shook his head and replied, “That wasn’t the part I was aiming for.”

ExposeTheTard Exposed! Noted blogger ExposetheTard was recently discovered to be a frustrated Tallulah Bankhead look alike and small time stripper who calls herself Ninochka. “I’ll strip anyone down to their bare nuts … except Nicky. He doesn’t have any.”

Giant Lobster Hovers Over Oxford! Mike Philbin has been coated in cum from a Giant Lobster that emerged from the Thames looking for Bukkakeworld.

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13 comments on “Tabloid Headlines!

  1. Rusty
    September 14, 2008

    Oh, you did a great job with those.

  2. Sabledrake
    September 14, 2008

    Hey now, it’s the hubby that has the “thin” spot!!! Omigod I’m gonna sue. Sue, I tells ya!

  3. SirOtter
    September 14, 2008

    I was only doing some research for my rewrite of Howling in the Park. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

  4. Rusty
    September 14, 2008

    It reads like a gossip column. See, now, this is why I come here, besides the free coffee. I read it all, of course, but I love these.

  5. autoaim.cfg
    September 14, 2008

    “Pink thread” had me in stitches, pardon the pun. =)

  6. Karen
    September 14, 2008

    I only turned my back on those darn minions for a moment! 😦

  7. JodiLee
    September 14, 2008

    I get to keep it, right? I mean… wait. I’ll send it to Jerrod and SD!

    Great job, Janrae!

  8. Jane Timm Baxter
    September 14, 2008

    *gasping*

    I..can’t..stop…giggling….
    Must…breathe…

  9. Louise
    September 14, 2008

    hehehehehehee e That was too good, Janrae. 😀

  10. cussedness
    September 15, 2008

    Thanks! 🙂

  11. Mike Brendan
    September 15, 2008

    Don’t worry, Karen, I’ll save you from those rebellious minions. Quick, put this on! 😛

  12. 50footant
    September 16, 2008

    GHWARRRRR!

  13. cussedness
    September 16, 2008

    Yikes! That’s one helluva BIG ant.

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Janrae Frank

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