"My work may be garbage but it's good garbage." Mickey Spillane
The only reason I have never killed anyone is pure dumb luck.
When I was fourteen, my grandfather (drunk at the time) went after his rifle to shoot my grandmother. I grabbed my baseball bat and positioned myself to beat his head in as he came out of his room. I stood there for what seemed like forever, making my peace with having to kill someone I loved to save someone I loved more. I have no idea how long I actually stood there waiting, but when he failed to come out, I went in. He had passed out drunk with the rifle across his lap in the act of loading it. I took the rifle out of his hands, carried it into the garage, put it in a big old vice and yanked the firing pin out. then I put the gun back in his lap. It wasn’t until deer season arrived that he saw what I had done. LOL. and of course I never confessed to doing it.