Cussedness Corner

"My work may be garbage but it's good garbage." Mickey Spillane

The Tale of the Brownie Brick

I never could do anything right in Jean/Hank’s view.  I was constantly worn out and exhausted, rarely getting enough sleep because I was always being dragged out of bed to fix things.  I worked full time outside the home, while Jean freelanced.  I took care of the yard, cleaned the house, and ran the errands, cooked the meals,  and helped Sovay with her homework.

While Jean freelanced, sat on his butt, and smoked pot 24/7.

I learned to bake when I was 6, and by 13 I was doing all of the cooking and cleaning because both of my folks were working outside the home.  They appreciated my efforts and always told me what a good cook and baker I was.  All of my extended family used to drop in on Friday afternoons and evenings because I baked cakes and cookies and pies on Fridays.

More than once my horde of little boy cousins planned and carried out cookie raids, escaping with either a plate of cookies or an entire pie still warm from the oven.  It was both an aggravation and a great compliment for my ability as a baker.

However, Jean thought I could not cook or bake worth a damn.

Anyone who has baked brownies knows that when you first take them out of the oven they are still a bit soft and gooey until they cool.

One day I made a batch of chocolate butterscotch swirl brownies.  I took them out to cool and while they were cooling, Jean decided to send me on an errand.  When I returned from my errand, tired and just wanting to sit down with a brownie and a cup of coffee, I discovered that Jean had decided to fix my lousy baking by putting the brownies back in the oven.

The brownies had hardened into a brick.

You could not even get a knife into them.

I lost it and told Jean to stop second-guessing my baking.

Jean got ugly with me over the way the brownies had turned out.

And I threw the entire plate of brownies at him.

I sailed it across the room at his head like a dark chocolate discus.

He ducked.

The brownies smacked the plaster wall and KABOOM!  The brownies made a huge hole in the wall.

After that Jean left my brownies alone except to eat them when I baked a batch.


4 comments on “The Tale of the Brownie Brick

  1. Rusty
    April 10, 2009

    Discus brownies. Now there’s a concept. I would have been tempted to force the little shit to get out a chain saw, and eat the entire batch.

  2. cussedness
    April 10, 2009

    In retrospect, that would have been an enjoyable thing to do. LOL

  3. Mike Brendan
    April 11, 2009

    Who knew that depleted butterscotch was armor piercing? 😀

  4. cussedness
    April 11, 2009

    transhumans and inhuman ex husbands had best face the fact that one of the deadliest substances known to man is the depleted butterscotch bomb.

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This entry was posted on April 10, 2009 by in Janrae Frank.

Janrae Frank

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